Living with mental illness feels like standing at the edge of a black hole, caught between worlds. The pull of chaos and confusion is relentless, making it hard to reach out, to be heard, or to understand. But there’s a secret in the storm: observation. In those rare moments of...

One of the defining characteristics of my personality for the past 30 years has been a decided lack of integrity. Deadlines, promises, schedules, appointments: these were all fluid in my mind, and I frequently ignored them. I was good at justifying why I couldn’t make a doctor’s appointment, or why...

I got turned down for another job the other day. A local one I really wanted this time, so it hurts a bit more than the others. I can’t keep track of the number of resumes I’ve sent out to either rejections or radio silence — or a combination of...

I went through old journal entries for inspiration tonight. I reminded myself of who I had been, pitfalls and traps I had fallen into, mirrors I wasn’t paying attention to. It’s painful to go back there, review that man’s thoughts as though they’re still mine. I think history is a...

these are a handful of excerpts and copy/pastes from digital and hand-written journal entries related to my personal experience in trying to live a more awakened life. As I find more, I will post in the appropriate dates. (Oct 24 2021) I accept the responsibility of being the author of...

Well, my IRB application for the pilot study is complete, signed off by my faculty advisor, and in the hands of the IRB themselves. Saybrook has about a four-week turn-around for all IRB applications, apparently, which is not ideal. I applied for an expedited review, so I’m hoping to get...

I still contend that the loneliest Ph.D. to do is one in the field of sustainability. Maybe especially in the field of sustainability as interpreted through the practice of design. I can’t be sure, but it’s a gut feeling I have about it. There is a vast community of sustainabilists...

In response to the threat of the chancellor closing three campuses in the Vermont State Colleges system, thousands of community members, faculty, staff, students, and legislators banded together and forced the campus-closing option off the table for now. The real work is ahead of us as we try and re-imagine...

Designing is a means by which the lived-worlds of a variety of people are changed without those people necessarily having a say in the changes. It is a practice that requires deep thinking about ethics because of this. When a product, service, or system is changed through a design process,...

I might buy too many books. I mean, clearly. Look at the pristine spines on those books on my desk. Nary one of them has been cracked beyond a brief thumb-through. That said, though, I love my books. One of the reasons I like getting a PhD so much is...