Wandering the Event Horizon

Sabin of the Green Mountains

Cybernetic Dreams Mandala Shadows on Snow Midheaven Snow in Shadow Earth Day/4.20 Easy on the Eyes
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My writing life and software
The section of my dock devoted to my writing process now looks like this. It’s a lot cleaner and more manageable, and generally in order of my process.

Walking Along the Edge of the Event Horizon
And if this resonates with you, and you find yourself dancing on the edge of a black hole, reach out. Let someone you trust know. And if someone reaches out to you, try to be present with compassion and hear the sound of the story behind the words and confusion if possible.

Making Music from Presence
Getting the hardware also sent me deeper into the lineage. Somewhere in the middle of all this making, I started curating a 90s techno mix project. Not just listening, but deep archaeological work — tracking down the foundational tracks, understanding the lineage, learning from the people who built this language I’ve always been yearning to speak. It’s ambitious, maybe too ambitious, but it’s feeding back into my own work in ways that surprise me.

I should have been doing something else …
????

Drowning at her side
The endless ocean muffles the tremendous and dull thud his past life makes as it indents itself into the bottom of the sea. His head above water, sputtering still, tired, he sees her clearly, hears her voice that was only ever inside his head, but is now dancing through a sunlit sky, strained and broken after their ordeal. The gentle cresting of the waves and their sound, the glint of the rising sun on the foam closer to the horizon, create a golden oasis, and he slowly treads water, no longer sinking from his own weight, and able to see.

Waking up as it were
I’m being awuflly honest here. I hope it’s okay. But it’s taking me an awful lot of words to communicate something very simple: I feel awake in a sleeping world and it’s confusing at best, lonely all the time, and sometimes quite hellish. The reason we founded it and the concept behind Midheaven is an attempt to do what we can with what we have to transform that dillemma into the foundation for others who may be going through something similar, to give out to others what we needed at our darkest points in our journey, what we need some days still. It’s slow going, but we’re dedicated to it. We’ve made a lot of progress on our first public area: the front sun room.

Living With What You’ve Seen: The Practice of Integration
Questions or just want to connect? Email [email protected]

The Sacred Act of Withdrawing Consent
This. This would be the most powerful act. Oh to step beyond the influence of the would-be oppressors and build a society around them, ignoring them completely, as they throw their man-child tantrums in an ever-enclosing playpen, unable to harm themselves or our new society. Let’s make that so.

After the Inheritance of Gilgamesh
I wanted to show that the same worldview that gave rise to unsustainable policies and social structures at the macro level also creates unsustainable conditions at the personal level. The harm isn’t just “out there” in society — it’s in how we relate to ourselves, to each other, to the possibility of living differently.

Learning to Be Impacted: On Support during Spiritual Emergence
This is part of an ongoing series on spiritual integration and personal healing. You can find my writing on organizational healing here.

Writing

I’ve been writing for the Internet since at least 1998, probably earlier when I got my badger.jsc.vsc.edu email address. The following is the most recent collection of essays, blogs, and articles going back over a decade. Currently, I focus on the threads that connect my inner life to culture, community, healing, and the ongoing work of being in this strange place. It’s a mix of personal reflection, systems thinking, and occasional rabbit holes I just can’t resist.

Making Music from Presence

Three weeks ago at winter solstice, something cracked open in me that hasn’t closed back up. At the time, I recorded/performed eight tracks in four days — minimal techno, ambient downtempo, arpeggiated grooves that just wanted to run. All of it performed live in Logic Pro, no backing out of the flow, just riding whatever […]

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