Wandering the Event Horizon

Sabin of the Green Mountains

Cybernetic Dreams Mandala Shadows on Snow Midheaven Snow in Shadow Earth Day/4.20 Easy on the Eyes
awakening recovery music Where've You Been? mental health ayahuasca vermont demo new release looking back thoughts phd process ep album madness adaptation psychedelics soul progress blog writing sustainability systems electronic live spiritual guidance new album production gear
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Day in the life
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CD Release for Where’ve You Been?
The limited edition “Bootleg” version is burned directly from the masters by me, comes in a slim disk case with the album title, my name, and a number written on the CD label for $10+shipping.

Waking up as it were
I’m being awuflly honest here. I hope it’s okay. But it’s taking me an awful lot of words to communicate something very simple: I feel awake in a sleeping world and it’s confusing at best, lonely all the time, and sometimes quite hellish. The reason we founded it and the concept behind Midheaven is an attempt to do what we can with what we have to transform that dillemma into the foundation for others who may be going through something similar, to give out to others what we needed at our darkest points in our journey, what we need some days still. It’s slow going, but we’re dedicated to it. We’ve made a lot of progress on our first public area: the front sun room.

Recording as “Sabin” as of today
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Reorganizing Everything: What Happens When You Can’t Go Back
My understanding of our marriage unraveled. Not because the love wasn’t real, but because the structure we’d built around that love was designed for two very different people. Twenty-eight years of building a life together, and most of it organized around roles and patterns that made sense for who we were then but not who we’d become.

Integrity and presence
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Drowning at her side
it finally became real the damage I’ve done to her voice, the lack of attention I’ve paid to her for real, and the responsibilities I’ve shirked, not just “in my madness” but during this process as I’ve been coming along, or she’s been dragging me along. I don’t know anymore.

I should have been doing something else …
I tried to do it today, but what came out instead was “Never Made Me Lose,” a new song about, well, a lot of things. I’ll let you listen and decide for yourself.

Intermittent Ph.D. diary #2
Perhaps more later.

Making Music from Presence
Getting the hardware also sent me deeper into the lineage. Somewhere in the middle of all this making, I started curating a 90s techno mix project. Not just listening, but deep archaeological work — tracking down the foundational tracks, understanding the lineage, learning from the people who built this language I’ve always been yearning to speak. It’s ambitious, maybe too ambitious, but it’s feeding back into my own work in ways that surprise me.

Writing

I’ve been writing for the Internet since at least 1998, probably earlier when I got my badger.jsc.vsc.edu email address. The following is the most recent collection of essays, blogs, and articles going back over a decade. Currently, I focus on the threads that connect my inner life to culture, community, healing, and the ongoing work of being in this strange place. It’s a mix of personal reflection, systems thinking, and occasional rabbit holes I just can’t resist.

Making Music from Presence

Three weeks ago at winter solstice, something cracked open in me that hasn’t closed back up. At the time, I recorded/performed eight tracks in four days — minimal techno, ambient downtempo, arpeggiated grooves that just wanted to run. All of it performed live in Logic Pro, no backing out of the flow, just riding whatever […]

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