Wandering the Event Horizon

Sabin of the Green Mountains

Cybernetic Dreams Mandala Shadows on Snow Midheaven Snow in Shadow Earth Day/4.20 Easy on the Eyes
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The Last Tether
What’s different now is that I’m no longer following that path, and I’m trying to open up this realization, breathe into it, and let it move through me until it’s the truth. The last time I was in Peru, I was there for two main reasons, one of which was to reclaim a sense of personal autonomy. Dropping this last vestige of a self that no longer serves me is the next part of that reclamation.

The journey continues: Intermittent Ph.D. diary #1
Back to the thing at hand!

Checking in From the Cold
In a blue and ecru sky

The Sacred Act of Withdrawing Consent
I believe that to resist something is to find a way to step outside of its influence over one’s behaviors, thoughts, and feelings in order to build anew. Resistance is the act of saying “this message is from outside my ken, and I need not carry its weight, I will choose my own”. It involves following through beyond the “Drop out” stage and building a new world worth tuning in to on the other side.

Waking up as it were
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Learning to Be Impacted: On Support during Spiritual Emergence
Holding space. Not fixing, not advising—just staying steady and present while you navigate your own process. This kind of presence without agenda creates safety for real transformation.

Embracing Imperfection: The Art of Being and Becoming
The Freedom to Explore Dilettantism and mindfulness share a common thread: they invite us to live wide rather than narrow. When we let go of the need to excel, we open ourselves to curiosity, play, and discovery. Ayahuasca deepened this understanding, showing how much of life I’d missed by clinging to narrow definitions of success and eschewing my natural tendency to be curious. The medicine reminded me of my younger visions of expansive, interconnected possibilities—an infinite web of paths I could explore if I stopped trying to control the outcome.

In support of visionary sustainable solutions for Vermont’s educational crisis
Third, working groups must develop visionary goals and metrics that ensure success is not determined based on bottom-line finances, but instead in a way that ensures the system can thrive and meet its full potential. By nature, systems will keep running towards their established goals forever, regardless of any fallout or consequences (Gall, 2012). If the VSCS continues to measure its success based on passive income, enrollment dollars, capitalization of real estate, and whatever else, then the real value of the system can never be measured, and we will continue on this deteriorating path forever. It is what the system is designed to do: it will seek increased profits until it can no longer do so and then it will fail. The goals of the system must be altered in order to account for the rich intrinsic successes witnessed through public testimony in addition to operating costs. Operating costs and bottom-line accounting, however, should never be considered primary goals for the reasons stated above.

Need to solve resistance
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Faces of change: 2012 – 2022
October, 2022 October, 2022 November, 2022 While we weren’t able to move there as we had hoped, We did spend a couple of weeks touring, seeking, and enjoying the high desert. On our way back, we stopped in Santa Fe to visit Meow Wolf and then drove back East. On the way down from the high desert, I saw my future and the meaning I want for my life. This is the first step there. Asha and I are friends again like we were in 1993 and building our lives together.

Writing

I’ve been writing for the Internet since at least 1998, probably earlier when I got my badger.jsc.vsc.edu email address. The following is the most recent collection of essays, blogs, and articles going back over a decade. Currently, I focus on the threads that connect my inner life to culture, community, healing, and the ongoing work of being in this strange place. It’s a mix of personal reflection, systems thinking, and occasional rabbit holes I just can’t resist.

Making Music from Presence

Three weeks ago at winter solstice, something cracked open in me that hasn’t closed back up. At the time, I recorded/performed eight tracks in four days — minimal techno, ambient downtempo, arpeggiated grooves that just wanted to run. All of it performed live in Logic Pro, no backing out of the flow, just riding whatever […]

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