Tag: awakening

Embarking on a Renewed Journey: Reintegration and Human-Centric Design

In this blog post, I reflect on my journey of personal and professional transformation over the past year, including the challenges of overcoming a 25-year burnout and a nervous breakdown. I announce my return to the professional world, emphasizing my renewed commitment to human-centric design and leadership. I discuss my role in co-founding Midheaven Inc., a non-profit for community engagement through spirituality, art, and music. Despite the setbacks in my academic journey, I share insights gained from teaching graduate courses and my deep involvement in music and spirituality. I invite readers to view my updated resume and engage with my journey.

Drowning at her side

it finally became real the damage I’ve done to her voice, the lack of attention I’ve paid to her for real, and the responsibilities I’ve shirked, not just “in my madness” but during this process as I’ve been coming along, or she’s been dragging me along. I don’t know anymore. I didn’t intend to come […]

Faces of change: 2012 – 2022

This is the first part of a series about my lived experience of waking up after a 28-year identity break. I feel like I am finally home, and I am grateful for my experience, even if it seems like a hell. my life has been irrevocably changed for the better. Please read this with the […]

I Learned from my past to look forward from here

I went through old journal entries for inspiration tonight. I reminded myself of who I had been, pitfalls and traps I had fallen into, mirrors I wasn’t paying attention to. It’s painful to go back there, review that man’s thoughts as though they’re still mine. I think history is a useful tool in the long […]

To Asha

I have so many letters for you I’ve never sent … thoughts I don’t know how to communicate … wasted so many moments between us until there’s more distance than not … and now that I’m awakening I can see so clearly what I’ve done and how I squandered your love and it breaks my […]

Caveat

Rodent attached to pyramid with four eyes.

This is a very personal space of growth, healing, learning, sharing, and cobbling together a new path forward after spending decades as a Pettigrew-like sychophant. Mentally and emotionally abusive to those I love the most — including my partner, with whom I am deeply in love. In order for me to come to terms, to […]

Unsent Letter

Dearest Asha, You know I love you. I tell you all the time. Too much, probably. You’re so easy to love. Charming and kind. Courageous. Brilliant wit and soulful heart. A beautiful voice. Dazzling smile with galaxy eyes. For all the reasons that anyone else who meets you will love you, I love you. Their […]

Entanglement of Living

I’m living entangled between two dreams. One is the life I have been living for 26 years. The other is the life I want to be living from now on. I feel squeezed and stretched by the separation of these two very different ways of living. The emotional pain of the passage from one into […]

Notes from early drafts cobbled together

these are a handful of excerpts and copy/pastes from digital and hand-written journal entries related to my personal experience in trying to live a more awakened life. As I find more, I will post in the appropriate dates. (Oct 24 2021) I accept the responsibility of being the author of my own life (Oct 4, […]