Wandering the Event Horizon

Sabin of the Green Mountains

Cybernetic Dreams Mandala Shadows on Snow Midheaven Snow in Shadow Earth Day/4.20
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Embarking on a Renewed Journey: Reintegration and Human-Centric Design
It’s good to take this step back into the world, and I’m looking forward to seeing you all again as I continue this journey.

What a Wild Few Weeks It’s Been
My music is always part of that reclamation and redefinition process, which is why I’m so glad it’s being heard and shared. I like to think that somehow my experience will resonate and help someone who’s on the edge or outskirts of something similar. I’m blessed to have the love and help I have in my life.

To Asha
I have so many letters for you I’ve never sent … thoughts I don’t know how to communicate … wasted so many moments between us until there’s more distance than not … and now that I’m awakening I can see so clearly what I’ve done and how I squandered your love and it breaks my heart and I stumble over the pieces. I am truly sorry.

Thoughts on change
I believe that space and time change in reciprocation to our own journeys. As we heal, so do our surroundings.

Astronomically Minute
Context: “In contrast, prior to the evolution of humans, the probability that any stone on any beach on Earth might exhibit this behavior was astronomically minute.”

New project underway!
The album will attempt to cover a lot of it, and I’m seeking a far more collaborative and integrative experience than my first one. I’m a different person, and I’d rather not do this one entirely solo.

I Learned from my past to look forward from here
I went through old journal entries for inspiration tonight. I reminded myself of who I had been, pitfalls and traps I had fallen into, mirrors I wasn’t paying attention to. It’s painful to go back there, review that man’s thoughts as though they’re still mine. I think history is a useful tool in the long run, and Munnin is always the most important lest we forget ourselves, but I realized tonight that I want to go forward and look back as little as possible. I need to go back, but I wish it was through conversation and not dredging up memories.

Hypnosis as a child
Later that year — the same year I had a spiritual awakening and fell profoundly in love — it came up that my mother hypnotized me nightly from about 2 years old to the age of 9 or 10 or so. Danielle and I were hosting a group guided meditation session at her house late that fall, and I encountered a strange being/sensation in my usually safe internal landscape. It was a dark, tall menacing figure that stayed just on the edge of my peripheral vision as I meditated. I couldn’t shake it like my usual thoughts or presences. Frankly, it was frightening.

Waking up in a quantum state
Most of my day is spent on the album, tying up loose ends and helping Danielle with the production work. There is a LOT to do still, and we’re counting down the days until we have to release to our distributor (23 days from now…). So on that note, I should go do some more there and less here for now.

Downtime and Finding Sonic Spaces
Here’s a demo I made using the SY-200 (a B-min arpeggiating riff with some old-school lead synth along-with):

Writing

I’ve been writing for the Internet since at least 1998, probably earlier when I got my badger.jsc.vsc.edu email address. The following is the most recent collection of essays, blogs, and articles going back over a decade. Currently, I focus on the threads that connect my inner life to culture, community, healing, and the ongoing work of being in this strange place. It’s a mix of personal reflection, systems thinking, and occasional rabbit holes I just can’t resist.

New project underway!

My next album project is rooted in my experience growing up in Vermont. There’s so much to talk about, that it’s too early to share very many details beyond this right now. I like being open about process, ideas, and progress, so I’d like to share a little bit of what I’ve been doing musically over the past few weeks while also gadding about in other ways (mental and not!).

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